CW/ Sanism (first poem).

I used to write haikus at work
While none of my duties were shirked.
But these longer rhymes
Should be called crimes.
Writing limericks will drive you berserk.

I once had a curious night
In which I was given a fright.
I woke up in a corner
With naught but a quarter
And nary a pay phone in sight.

I know things right now seem quite bleak.
The last thing to do now is to freak.
Take time just for you.
Do what you need to.
And with luck it’ll be over in weeks.

Now that we’re all at a distance
At CDC’s and WHO’s insistence,
Let’s just relax
And consider the facts,
Ignoring the media’s persistence.

CW/ Alcohol in both following poems.

Saint Patrick, not a canonized saint.
The story’s remarkably quaint.
Using shamrocks to teach,
Paganism was breached.
Now we drink in his name with restraint.

I once was given a beer.
I thought it decidedly queer
That the mouse in the bottle
Would quote Aristotle.
The gods, too, are fond of a jeer.